Microsofty, The Computer Whiz Kids City Shakes the World

  Media worldwide has turned their attention to this amazing little city to the south of Timbuktu where the children there shows extraordinary knowledge and expertise in computer systems and applications from tender ages.

  From the age of three, the children can log onto the internet and surf to their hearts’ content looking at pictures without even being able to read or write. “I just know the toolbars and icons at the back of my hands,” said Chila, age three, grinning broadly. Seven-year old Wole, could operate programming languages and systems like ADA, Visual Basic, Delphi and C++ as easily as we can operate the microwave. Chinua, a young man of eighteen is already aspiring to be the next Billy Gates and according to reliable sources, he will be ready to take on Gates by the next summer.

  The children are happy. So should the parents, one might think but recent reports showed increases in high-blood pressure and heart diseases in parents who are unable to communicate with their gifted children at all. “It’s like we speak a different language all together. I don’t know my own flesh and blood anymore than I know Mars now,” said one distressed mother with two computer geniuses in her brood.

  Another mother unknowingly caused a tragedy upon herself and her child due to her ignorance of computer. “My child locks herself up in her room for several days and when I asked for the reason, she said she was drawing with paint. Naturally I asked to see them but she just said the pictures weren’t nice so she erased everything and they are in the recycle bin. Without even bothering to listen to her explanation, I spanked her real hard for her extravagance and wasteful nature regarding the use of paints. To think, she was actually using the “Paint” function in Accessories with her computer. From then on, she locks herself in her room everyday with a sign hanging on her door that says Computer Idiots Not Allowed. God, what have I done!”

  A similar but less tragic incident reports a father caning his son when he could not find his son’s homework. ‘He said, “they are in my briefcase” and so I turned his bag inside out and was infuriated at the lie he told. Who would have guessed that “My Briefcase” belongs to virtual reality?’

  Parents are also extremely anxious about the spiritual well-being of their children. Their worries are clearly not unfounded. Some children under the influence of the New God are heard muttering the following bedtime prayer each night:

Now I lay me down to sleep  

Pray the Lord my computer to keep

Dear Lord, protect my genius through the night

Wake me with the monitor’s light

Dear Lord, bless me with expertise in Java and C++

Let me one day Gates surpass.

Keep me in thy loving web

Grant me eternal stay in your heavenly Comp. Lab

Thy Kingdom come,

Thy will be done,

On earth as it is in Heaven.


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 Tan Sze Yin